Goodbyes are hard

Well, after 16 years of education since high school graduation, I am less then 60 days away from my final (at least for now) graduation.  In June I will finish my second fellowship and actually begin my career as an attending a Children's Minnesota, yes Minnesota.  After 4 years in KC, I am moving back home.  I am so excited to be returning to family and friends but will miss KC.  It has been a crazy 4 years here and after not wanting to come, I am struggling with how to say good-bye to so many people.

As I do most summers, I participated in a few triathlons after my big trip to Asia but there was something different about one of them.  At the Cedar Creek Triathlon, I met a famous boxer from KC who asked me about my Notre Dame Women's Boxing T-shirt I happened to be wearing.  Tony and I chatted (before I knew who he really was) and I was convinced I should go back to boxing for a workout.  A week later I went to Turner Boxing Academy and that has been one of the best decisions I made this year.  My 9 months at the gym  have been amazing.  I have been reminded how much I loved boxing when I was in college, even though I never had an actual fight and how long 2 minutes are when you are actually sparring.

I was welcomed to TBA with open arms on my first day by Coach John.  I have grown to love the young men and women at the gym like siblings.  These "kids" have reminded me about not letting adversity get in the way of dreams.  They work hard and have the biggest hearts.  They have let me cover ringside events where I get the best seat in the house to cheer them on, sang a very out of tune happy birthday when I turned 23 or 24 as they reminded me I am only as old as I feel to and have become people I look forward to seeing with a smile every week at practice.  The family extends beyond the boxers to the parents I have gotten to know and shared moments of anxiety when the TBA fighters are in the ring.  It was been an honor to be the unofficial TBA team doctor, an official USA Boxing ringside physician and I am not sure how to say good-bye to these amazing kids.  They have left a giant footprint on my heart and I will forever have fond memories of my time at TBA.

Why I march

I realized with my crazy new schedule I have not posted in a long time.  In the wake of a few awful days of work, I am taking to my blog to vent so please don't mind.  As we are on the eve of the inauguration I am having conflicting feelings about what is going to happen.  On Saturday I am planning on marching with my fellow women in Kansas City.  I am not much of a political person but there are some serious issues that give me pause.  As a pediatrician I feel that I need to help give a voice to all the children who can not vote and do not have a voice.

As a pediatric ED physician I see things that are hard to process.  There is one case from the last few years that has stuck with me and is very relevant to life.  I had a young patient who was shot and killed by gun violence.  This innocent little angle did not take his first steps before he was killed. This case is not an isolated incident but something occurring in every pediatric ED around the country. While I agree with the second amendment and the right to bear arms, I can not stand by as our innocent children are killed for no reason.  It is for these innocent children that I march.

In my time doing global health work I have seen many children who have suffered from vaccine preventable diseases due to lack of access to health care.  Some countries do not have enough health care access for families to seek care, some do not have money for vaccines.  No matter what the reason, these children have become the victims of something they are not responsible for.  I fear that a person who does not believe in vaccines will be part of vaccine safety committee and this could have devastating consequences.  We no longer see the ravages of polio, of iron lungs, of children having trouble walking, of children using braces.  This is because we have a vaccine that prevents this.  I have never seen a case of epiglottis because we have a vaccine that has caused a drastic decrease in the incidence.  For this I am so thankful!  I walk to make sure vaccines and health care are still available for children.

I have been lucky enough in my life to have friends of different races, religions and sexual orientations.  Each of these people have helped to shape me into the person I am today.  While some things may look different or feel different, we are genetically almost identical and share the same feeling and emotions.  I am thankful I live in a country where you can praise what ever you believe in, in many states you can marry the person you love and you can be friends with anyone.  I march for those that are different from me.

I could easily continue about the reasons that I march but in the end I march for children, I march for friends, I march for family, I march for women, I march for humanity.

Race Report

Finishing off the run

This past weekend I was able to get back to racing triathlons.  I little over a year ago I got injured at a race and had to take some time to recover.  This weekend I was able to participate in the WIN for KC triathlon which was so much fun.  It is one of the best races I have participated it.  There is so much positive energy at the race and as an all women's race its something truly special.

The night before the race I was so nervous, almost like it was my very first race again.  But luckily I was able to get some sleep so i was ready when my alarm went off super early on Saturday morning.

I got to the race nice and early to set up my transition area.  While getting set up I ran into several of my teammates which helped me calm my nerves.

A nice little transition area

For this race I decided to do the time trial start.  We went after the first 5 heats of mass starts and the anxiety started to build as I saw my friends getting out of the water while I was still waiting for my turn to go.  I lined up in the 8-9 minute group for the swim.  I was about the 8-10th person in line and was ready to go when they told me it was my turn.  I got in the water quickly and was able to settle into my stroke easily.  I passed several people and was feeling pretty good in the water.  I was able to finish strong and forgot to change my garmin.  My time was not quite what I had hoped for but I still felt pretty good.

I made a quick transition on to my bike and was off on a short 10 miler.  The bike course was crowded with a lot of people, many who were not experienced triathletes so it was a little frustrating trying to pass people when they were not riding on the right side of the road.  About 2-3 miles in I finally settled in a little but was a having trouble controlling my breathing.  For some reason, I was breathing much faster then normal.  It really took most of the bike to settle my breathing but my HR was fine during that time.  I saw several of my teammates and it was nice to see them.  I had a nice dismount of my bike and ran through transition.

BAM teammates representing

On to the run...the part of the race I was most nervous about.  I have not had a lot of good runs this summer and have been battling mental doubt and some ongoing foot pain.  I actually stopped my Garmin after transition and didn't realized it until well into the run.  I started off well and saw some of my friends who were there for support.  In the pre-race meeting they said the second water stop was at the turnaround so when I saw the water stop and was feeing great I was so happy.  My joy was short lived though as the water stop was just before mile 1, no wonder I felt so great.  I kept telling myself just run the next 1/2 mile and see how you feel.  With that in mind I made it to the turnaround and was not feeling so bad.  This was a major victory.  I walked through the water stop, got some water and was off to run again.  I had figured out my Garmin wasn't working and according to the Garmin I was under 12 minute miles which is right were I usually am.  With lots of encouragement from other people running and a friend cheering at the last 1/4 mile I made it to the finish line.  I felt pretty good crossing the line since it had been so long since my last race.  I got the monkey off my back which felt great.

After the race I found my cheering section (an awesome guy and dog) and a few friends.  I finally went to get my time and was pleasently surprised to have finished 9th in my age group, top 11% of all athletes and most importantly, about 2-3 minutes faster in the run then I expected.  All in all, not a bad race day.

Of course, no race is complete without a lake day after with friends.  Now to race again tomorrow :)

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My ID badge

Sorry for not posting in over a week.  The last week in Lao I was on overnights and the hospital was at capacity. We also had several rounds of good-byes and a few last minute adventures.  We have safely arrived in Phuket for some relaxation before coming home.  Its much cooler here and you can't beat the oceanview from the balcony of our room.  

Kids trying to give us flowers they picked for money

The last few days in Lao were very bittersweet.  Its been a great adventure and full of trials. Its hard to come to grips with the fact that some of the children who died would have survived if we were in the US.  I think sometimes the volunteer doctors and nurses took it much harder then the Lao doctors and nurses.  Several of the families had already lost one child.  For me it was a little baby who was sick but would have pulled through if we had intubation capabilities.  Hopefully in the near future this will be a reality at the hospital.  End of life care is a difficult thing no matter where you are, but add in the language barrier and the fact I have no idea what the Lao doctors are saying to the family and its immensely difficulty.  My hope is that despite the language barrier the compassionate actions speak louder then words.  

View from the top

On a more happy note, the last few days were were able to say good-bye to new friends.  The group we worked with was an amazing crew.  For almost everyone there, this was not their first volunteer position in a resource limited setting so brought a wealth of knowledge (a needed flexibility).   

Inside the Wat looking over at LPB

On our last fully day we crossed the Mekong to check out the village and Wat on the other side.  The wat was smaller then most of the ones near out house but the hundreds of stairs to get there were worth it for the views!  It was a beautiful view and we were the only ones there at the time.  We were able to just sit and enjoy it.  After climbing back down hundreds of stairs/muddy hillsides were made it back to Luang where we met up with friends for coffee and dessert before dinner.  For dinner we crossed the bamboo bridge at night to have a riverside dinner.  It was a great way to say until next time to the new friends we have made.  

A lonely boat on the Mekong

On Thursday we left Lao and headed to Thailand.  I am happy to say that this time we were not over our baggage weight.  On the way to Lao, we were 37kg overweight combined so had to pay $300 to get our luggage there.  This time we were underweight.  I guess we ate enough peanut butter and nutella.  We also brought over about 30kg in medical supplies for the hospital.  

We are off to enjoy a sunny day here in Phuket and will be headed home in about 48 hours.  Its been a ride!  

Short and sweet

The night market

We had 2 days off and for the first time since we got here, we actually took it easy.  Todays exciting adventure involved sitting by the pool reading books with some of the other people working at the hospital.  The pool was full of children (who apparently were not in school) but we had a blast just relaxing and getting some sun.  Tonight we did a group dinner at Secret Pizza.  This is a pizza shop that is only open 2 days a week and finding it is a big secret.  The first time we tried to find it, we almost turned around 2 times but were able to find it.  It was much easier today.

Yesterday we did our own thing in the morning.  I went to the Traditional Ethnic and Cultural Center to check out some of the awesome fair trade gifts they have and learn more about the villages the gifts come from.  It was a nice geography/history lesson.  In the evening we went out to dinner at the new Mexican restaurant before heading to buy some gifts at the night market.  The night market goes on every night here and is a few blocks of vendors selling everything from textiles and slippers to Laolao (strong whiskey) to paintings and wood carvings.  We were able to pick up some fun gifts for love ones back home.  And since it was on our walk home, we did stop by a restaurant in town that we had been told was the best chocolate lava cake and it did not disappoint.  We have 3 more days of work here before the long journey home begins.

Thats all for now.  We are both healthy, full of pizza and tired!